Wrestling In The Park 3 Results -- 9/2/17 -- Chicago, IL

congrats to the new champs

where's action baron work out of? that dude had a good look to him

Hey Steve, you forgot to thank the sponsors.

The real review brothers.

Show review time brothers.

Got there round 12:10. Of course the ring ain't set up yet. Realized this sh*t is gonna be terrible AGAIN and I need some beers. Thankfully JPecard showed up with some. We drank them in the alley and by the time we got back the show still hasn't started.

Walked by the merch table which had crappy 15 buck shirts for the show and the raffle entry for an autographed 8x10 of Balor and Rollins. They didn't have a sticker or certificate of authenticity next to em so I didn't buy in. Doesn't WWE something on em? It all seemed fishy.

Finally some terrible announcer dude comes out and he was drizzling cucks the whole show. Mispronounced a few names, made some really bad jokes which got Conway pops and he thanked the same 7 sponsors before each match. So yeah, screw this guy. Either way he does some sh*t and all the guys in the main event for the "Logan Square Championship" come out and do a little sh*t segment. It was Logan Square's very own Kid Foxx, Bulletproof Beau Anderson, Little Dave Tupac Chappelle and Ricky the Cuckin Janitor as some Cactus cuck. This whole thing was terrible. Highlights were Beau Anderson not being totally crappy on the mic and Ricky The Cucktus taking some fan's boot and throwing it...which hit a little girl right in the head. However, the little girl was wearing a helmet. I could only imagine if she didn't. Screw you Ricky. You're a real "not so fresh". He apologized to her an HOUR LATER during intermission if I am not mistaken.

Let's get on to the crappy matches. f**k. Can't remember what the hell went on in the first few matches. I think Mikey Strong won a match. He came out with a f**k**g suit later in the show looking like a midget Reg Mackworthy. They tried to present him like he was some big deal. Some chubby broad faced off with the gas station attendant in a crappy match, it was bad. I think the attendant won. Fiend and Cobain came out with another chubby broad and the 2nd best CSW ref and I think they beat some guys. I can't remember.

I think I can accurately remember the last three. Gringo Loco and Skyade Jr beat a couple of Luchadors in another shitfest. There was a crappy battle royal which has no logic whatsoever. Big Bearded Bobby Hill won it and I think some fat guy ran in and attacked him at this point. The crappy announcer said these two will face each other in a cage match.......NEXT YEAR at Wrestling in the Park 4. f**k me, man, I don't know if I can wait that long. It's gonna be a spectacle. SMH. I wonder how long it will take to put up the cage. Prolly an hour at least with these geniuses.

I called some guy a midget at the beginning of the battle royal and the broad next to me got offended. Said something about being rude. I said "Have you ever been to a wrestling show before? I'm not trying to be rude to you but talking sh*t is part of the show?" What a prude. Her boyfriend loved JPecard and I's sh*t talking tho.

Kid Foxy won the fatal four way main event. He is the first Logan Square Wrestling in the Park Champion. The belt was sh*t and looked like it was purchased at Walmart. Got a few laughs for the one. It was another clusterfuck of a match.

Stevie Ray Kenton did live commentary on the speakers the whole show which was hella annoying. I don't need to hear commentary while I AM AT WRESTLING. THIS ISN'T A f**k**g DVD. One of the refs was absolutely horrendous and kept counting to three a lil for every two count. Some little scumbag won two different raffle. I think he went 2/6. Enjoy the 8x10s you're prolly gonna throw out in a couple of years kid.

At one point some kids started throwing trash at the wrestlers after their match. I liked these kids and thought it was hilarious. It was all harmless like paper and wrappers but of course the announcer said they couldn't do it anymore. Some of the little cuckos did anyway so kudos to them.

Shitshow ends. JPecard and I grab some food and walk by an hour later. There are still a few dudes taking down whats left of the ring. I asked one of them "Where's Stan?" and he replied "I don't know, he was supposed to be here". I said "Oh well. He's a cuck anyway". He replied with "He probably is". NO b*llsh*t, this was hilarious. This way by far the highlight of the show...which wasn't even part of the show.

Also Willie wasn't there for some reason and neither was Cuckpiro or his goons.

It was a terrible show but it was free of course and sh*t wrestling is still entertaining especially when it's free. I will probably go next year as well. What a clusterfuck that cage match is gonna be.

Oh sh*t. Totally forgot about that. 

That guy was a f**kin douche. He probably wanted to take the bike and sell it at the pawn shop at Fully and Kimball. Little scumbag.