Post by rican on Feb 10, 2011 10:00:06 GMT -6
Pro Wrestling BLITZ's Night of Heartache III was held Saturday February 5, 2011 at the VFW Cantigny Post 367 in Joliet, IL, where the winners of last November's Ring Wars match got their stipulated matches and Tony Scarpone challenged Hardcore Craig for the BLITZ Championship in a lumberjack strap match.
Match 1: Sadist and Torino (representing American History Next) vs. The Tokyo Twins (w/ Go-Go Shinzaki): - Before the Twins came out, Torino got on the mic and claimed his aunt was on the board of directors for the Green Bay Packers and she allegedly received a phone call Mrs. Walter Payton wanting to order a custom Packer casket to rebury Walter in. Needless to say, the Joliet crowd didn't appreciate this comment. Twins stormed the ring and took the early lead and kept Torino in their corner. Sadist tagged in, reversed and Irish whip and hit a big boot to turn the momentum over to AHN. Go-Go hopped up on the apron just when Torino whipped Mi right into her, knocking her to the floor. Torino missed a second rope leg drop while being distracted by the very audible "You Suck" chants, allowing Mi to tag out to his brother. Yu entered on fire until Mi went to the top for a tandem maneauver when Go-Go pulled Mi's leg out from under him, crotching him on the top turnbuckle! Go-Go stormed off and as Mi crumbled to the floor, Sadist nailed Yu with a spear for the win in 8:34.
Match 2: Zach Thompson (w/Rinaldo Piven) vs. "Waterboy" Mike Horning where Thompson must wrestle in a dress - This was one of the two matches coming out of the Ring Wars event. As you'd expect, Thompson refused to put the dress on until the referee had the ring announcer announce that if Thompson didn't comply with the match's stipulation, he would be disqualified. Zach, not wanting to miss out on the winner's share of the purse, reluctantly slipped into the dress Mike Horning had brought (Thompson and Piven had conveniently forgot to bring one). Horning had some fun with this, pulling up Zach's dress's skirt and pulling down the straps, and although Zach was wearing his usual tights under the dress, he seemed embarrassed about being exposed. Zach's humilation climaxed with the Waterboy giving him a spanking over his knee. Thompson had enough and sent Horning to the outside where he crashed hard into the guardrail during his fall. Zach went for the Dublin Driver, which Horning evaded, and after a series of reversals Zach got a close 2-count with the Belfast Buster. Horning came back with a spinebuster and went to the top where he knocked an interferring Rinaldo Piven off the apron. Thompson cut him off, but when he carried Horning off the buckled onto his shoulder, Waterboy rolled him up in a victory roll for the 3-count in 9:25. After the match, Thompson blindsided Horning, tore off the dress and forced it over the victor's head. Even though Thompson should have been embarrassed not only wrestling in a dress but also losing the match, he got a slice of revenge.
Match 3: The Billy Goat vs. Gilbert Lewis - The returning Gilbert Lewis was scheduled to take on Billy Valentino but weather conditions kept Valentino from making the trip down from Milwaukee. Lewis got a great reaction upon his return. The Billy Goat was one ODD character, acting effeminately while wearing a creepy goat mask. Gilbert got the Goat to charge a t-shirt like a bull on multiple occasions and even went for a ride on his back until Billy wasn't playing around anymore. Goat got a hammerlock over the top rope and couldn't resist Lewis’ evidentally yummy fingers. This was a bizarre match. Billy had Gilbert bent over in the corner and came charging rams first into Lewis’ backside for a 2-count. The Billy Goat missed a top rope headbutt, driving his horns into the mat. Lewis pulled out a bag of Chili Cheese Fritos (you can't make this stuff up) and opened it, intentionally spilling them all over the mat. The Goat couldn't help himself as he got down on all fours and went to town eating the snack. Gilbert seized this chance to trap his strange opponent in an Oklahoma roll for the pin in 4:39. Afterward, the Billy Goat bit the poor ref's fingers.
Match 4: Professional Pleasure ("Canadian Sex Icon" Ryan Slade and "Walking Aphrodesiac" Matty Starr)(w/Rinaldo Piven) vs. Beer City Bruisers (Brandon Blaze and Matt Winchester) in a Flag Match - This was the second of the two matches that came out of the Ring Wars match back in November. For this Flag Match, not only did you have to capture your team's flag, but you also had to take it to the middle of the ring to wave it. No tagging was necessary in this one and the brawl spilled all over ringside. The Canadians were more intersted in getting their flag and ending the match whereas Beer City came for a fight and weren't leaving until they quenched their thirst. Blaze and Winchester used their size and experience advantage to streamroll over Professional Pleasure until Rinaldo Piven got involved by grabbing Winchester's leg as he hit the ropes, allowing Slade to clothesline him over the top. Starr was struggling trying to pull Blaze down into a sunset flip until Slade came in with a dropkick. Starr and Slade double teamed Blaze until Winchester came to and evened things out. He went for the flag but Piven was there to stop him, allowing his team time to pound on Wilmington, IL native and double powerbomb him from the 2nd rope. The Bruisers brawled back and hit an elevated flipping neckbreaker from the 2nd rope on Starr. Piven tried to block BCB again from capturing their flag and received two double chokeslams for his effort. This gave the Canadians time to recuperate, all the while Torino and Sadist snuck their way to ringside. Torino distracted the ref as Winchester had procured the American flag. Saddist nailed Winchester and put the American flag back in its holster. Professional Pleasure hit the G-Spot on Winchester. At the 13:35 mark, the “Canadian Sex Icon” grabbed the Canadian flag and waved it high over the Joliet crowd.
Match 5: Dysfunction vs. Egotistico Fantastico #1 Conteders Match - During the opening minutes of this one, Ego had control using wrestling moves when they were inside the ring, but when they spilled to outside, Dysfunction took over. That was until Ego back body dropped Dys over the guardrail. They went back and forth through the crowd toward the bar and back to where Ego had previously tossed Dys over the rail. Ego sat Dys in a chair, took a lap around the ring and dove over the guardrail onto his opponent. Dys managed to get back into the ring first, racked Ego by kicking the rope on his way back in and DDT'ed him while elevated off the 2nd rope. Dysfunction wisely tried to wear Ego down by pinning him over and over to drain his energy (and subconsciously causing the ref to count faster each time), but then missed a 2nd rope knee drop. Dys bounced back with a forward fireman's carry slam and went for the Rubix Cube, but Ego countered with the Mexicution for the win in 10:34.
Match 6: "Cadallac" Nick Colucci vs. BLITZ No Limits Champion "Latin Lover" Tony Rican with the title on the line - Tony Rican noticed a Puerto Rican flag in the crowd and went to show it off but Colucci took the opportunity for a Pearl Harbor job. Both wrestlers played his cards close to the chest here, being very cautious about his next move and relying heavily on submission and the ground game. Colucci did go for a powerbomb but the “Latin Lover” countered by driving his face into the mat. Collucci whipped Rican into the corner as he used the 2nd turnbuckle to springboard out into a cross body block for 2-count, then hit the backstabber to retain the No Limits championship in 6:47.
Main Event: "Insurance Policy" Tony Scarpone vs. BLITZ Champion Hardcore Craig in a lumberjack strap match where both fans and wrestlers were lumberjacks - A very interesting start in this one as it appeared Scarpone had won the championship in 3 seconds with a school boy. The ref had to take it back though because the bell never rang to officially start the match. Craig was the first to feel the leather as fans swarmed around him to get their lashes in. When Scarpone fell to the outside, the hated wrestlers like American History Next and the Professionals, plus one young fan whipped the “Insurance Policy”. To their credit, both opponents took their strappings like men, didn't cry out and didn't run away. Back in the ring, the champion went to the top but a dazed Scarpone fell into the ropes to rack Craig up, who then tumbled to the floor for another beating from the Joliet faithful. Scarpone went for a Bossman slam but the champ floated over it and hit the Hardcore Hangover for a 2-count. Scarpone rebounded but missed a charge in the corner where the momentum of his jump carried him over the top to the floor where eager leather straps awaited him. Scarpone got ahold of a strap and knife edged a charging Craig. The challenger went to the top, got cut off by Craig but then shoved the champion off crashing into the ref. American History Next threw a thick chain in the ring which Craig introduced to Scarpone's forehead, busting him open. Hardcore lifted Scarpone's dead weight up onto his shoulders for a full on spinning Hardcore Hangover to retain the BLITZ Championship at the 17:18 mark. For those who were there and kept score, Craig went to the floor 4 times and Scarpone 3. Sadist and Torino went in to beat on Scarpone but the ring filled with fan favorites to fight them off in a bench clearing brawl, but not before Craig got one lash on Scarpone with the BLITZ Championship belt and used the chain across Scarpone's eyes in a camel clutch position. Egotistico Fantastico came out to sway the balance toward the good guys. Scarpone publicly thanked Ego for helping to make the save. Next month it will be Ego challenging Hardcore Craig for the BLITZ Championship!
Match 1: Sadist and Torino (representing American History Next) vs. The Tokyo Twins (w/ Go-Go Shinzaki): - Before the Twins came out, Torino got on the mic and claimed his aunt was on the board of directors for the Green Bay Packers and she allegedly received a phone call Mrs. Walter Payton wanting to order a custom Packer casket to rebury Walter in. Needless to say, the Joliet crowd didn't appreciate this comment. Twins stormed the ring and took the early lead and kept Torino in their corner. Sadist tagged in, reversed and Irish whip and hit a big boot to turn the momentum over to AHN. Go-Go hopped up on the apron just when Torino whipped Mi right into her, knocking her to the floor. Torino missed a second rope leg drop while being distracted by the very audible "You Suck" chants, allowing Mi to tag out to his brother. Yu entered on fire until Mi went to the top for a tandem maneauver when Go-Go pulled Mi's leg out from under him, crotching him on the top turnbuckle! Go-Go stormed off and as Mi crumbled to the floor, Sadist nailed Yu with a spear for the win in 8:34.
Match 2: Zach Thompson (w/Rinaldo Piven) vs. "Waterboy" Mike Horning where Thompson must wrestle in a dress - This was one of the two matches coming out of the Ring Wars event. As you'd expect, Thompson refused to put the dress on until the referee had the ring announcer announce that if Thompson didn't comply with the match's stipulation, he would be disqualified. Zach, not wanting to miss out on the winner's share of the purse, reluctantly slipped into the dress Mike Horning had brought (Thompson and Piven had conveniently forgot to bring one). Horning had some fun with this, pulling up Zach's dress's skirt and pulling down the straps, and although Zach was wearing his usual tights under the dress, he seemed embarrassed about being exposed. Zach's humilation climaxed with the Waterboy giving him a spanking over his knee. Thompson had enough and sent Horning to the outside where he crashed hard into the guardrail during his fall. Zach went for the Dublin Driver, which Horning evaded, and after a series of reversals Zach got a close 2-count with the Belfast Buster. Horning came back with a spinebuster and went to the top where he knocked an interferring Rinaldo Piven off the apron. Thompson cut him off, but when he carried Horning off the buckled onto his shoulder, Waterboy rolled him up in a victory roll for the 3-count in 9:25. After the match, Thompson blindsided Horning, tore off the dress and forced it over the victor's head. Even though Thompson should have been embarrassed not only wrestling in a dress but also losing the match, he got a slice of revenge.
Match 3: The Billy Goat vs. Gilbert Lewis - The returning Gilbert Lewis was scheduled to take on Billy Valentino but weather conditions kept Valentino from making the trip down from Milwaukee. Lewis got a great reaction upon his return. The Billy Goat was one ODD character, acting effeminately while wearing a creepy goat mask. Gilbert got the Goat to charge a t-shirt like a bull on multiple occasions and even went for a ride on his back until Billy wasn't playing around anymore. Goat got a hammerlock over the top rope and couldn't resist Lewis’ evidentally yummy fingers. This was a bizarre match. Billy had Gilbert bent over in the corner and came charging rams first into Lewis’ backside for a 2-count. The Billy Goat missed a top rope headbutt, driving his horns into the mat. Lewis pulled out a bag of Chili Cheese Fritos (you can't make this stuff up) and opened it, intentionally spilling them all over the mat. The Goat couldn't help himself as he got down on all fours and went to town eating the snack. Gilbert seized this chance to trap his strange opponent in an Oklahoma roll for the pin in 4:39. Afterward, the Billy Goat bit the poor ref's fingers.
Match 4: Professional Pleasure ("Canadian Sex Icon" Ryan Slade and "Walking Aphrodesiac" Matty Starr)(w/Rinaldo Piven) vs. Beer City Bruisers (Brandon Blaze and Matt Winchester) in a Flag Match - This was the second of the two matches that came out of the Ring Wars match back in November. For this Flag Match, not only did you have to capture your team's flag, but you also had to take it to the middle of the ring to wave it. No tagging was necessary in this one and the brawl spilled all over ringside. The Canadians were more intersted in getting their flag and ending the match whereas Beer City came for a fight and weren't leaving until they quenched their thirst. Blaze and Winchester used their size and experience advantage to streamroll over Professional Pleasure until Rinaldo Piven got involved by grabbing Winchester's leg as he hit the ropes, allowing Slade to clothesline him over the top. Starr was struggling trying to pull Blaze down into a sunset flip until Slade came in with a dropkick. Starr and Slade double teamed Blaze until Winchester came to and evened things out. He went for the flag but Piven was there to stop him, allowing his team time to pound on Wilmington, IL native and double powerbomb him from the 2nd rope. The Bruisers brawled back and hit an elevated flipping neckbreaker from the 2nd rope on Starr. Piven tried to block BCB again from capturing their flag and received two double chokeslams for his effort. This gave the Canadians time to recuperate, all the while Torino and Sadist snuck their way to ringside. Torino distracted the ref as Winchester had procured the American flag. Saddist nailed Winchester and put the American flag back in its holster. Professional Pleasure hit the G-Spot on Winchester. At the 13:35 mark, the “Canadian Sex Icon” grabbed the Canadian flag and waved it high over the Joliet crowd.
Match 5: Dysfunction vs. Egotistico Fantastico #1 Conteders Match - During the opening minutes of this one, Ego had control using wrestling moves when they were inside the ring, but when they spilled to outside, Dysfunction took over. That was until Ego back body dropped Dys over the guardrail. They went back and forth through the crowd toward the bar and back to where Ego had previously tossed Dys over the rail. Ego sat Dys in a chair, took a lap around the ring and dove over the guardrail onto his opponent. Dys managed to get back into the ring first, racked Ego by kicking the rope on his way back in and DDT'ed him while elevated off the 2nd rope. Dysfunction wisely tried to wear Ego down by pinning him over and over to drain his energy (and subconsciously causing the ref to count faster each time), but then missed a 2nd rope knee drop. Dys bounced back with a forward fireman's carry slam and went for the Rubix Cube, but Ego countered with the Mexicution for the win in 10:34.
Match 6: "Cadallac" Nick Colucci vs. BLITZ No Limits Champion "Latin Lover" Tony Rican with the title on the line - Tony Rican noticed a Puerto Rican flag in the crowd and went to show it off but Colucci took the opportunity for a Pearl Harbor job. Both wrestlers played his cards close to the chest here, being very cautious about his next move and relying heavily on submission and the ground game. Colucci did go for a powerbomb but the “Latin Lover” countered by driving his face into the mat. Collucci whipped Rican into the corner as he used the 2nd turnbuckle to springboard out into a cross body block for 2-count, then hit the backstabber to retain the No Limits championship in 6:47.
Main Event: "Insurance Policy" Tony Scarpone vs. BLITZ Champion Hardcore Craig in a lumberjack strap match where both fans and wrestlers were lumberjacks - A very interesting start in this one as it appeared Scarpone had won the championship in 3 seconds with a school boy. The ref had to take it back though because the bell never rang to officially start the match. Craig was the first to feel the leather as fans swarmed around him to get their lashes in. When Scarpone fell to the outside, the hated wrestlers like American History Next and the Professionals, plus one young fan whipped the “Insurance Policy”. To their credit, both opponents took their strappings like men, didn't cry out and didn't run away. Back in the ring, the champion went to the top but a dazed Scarpone fell into the ropes to rack Craig up, who then tumbled to the floor for another beating from the Joliet faithful. Scarpone went for a Bossman slam but the champ floated over it and hit the Hardcore Hangover for a 2-count. Scarpone rebounded but missed a charge in the corner where the momentum of his jump carried him over the top to the floor where eager leather straps awaited him. Scarpone got ahold of a strap and knife edged a charging Craig. The challenger went to the top, got cut off by Craig but then shoved the champion off crashing into the ref. American History Next threw a thick chain in the ring which Craig introduced to Scarpone's forehead, busting him open. Hardcore lifted Scarpone's dead weight up onto his shoulders for a full on spinning Hardcore Hangover to retain the BLITZ Championship at the 17:18 mark. For those who were there and kept score, Craig went to the floor 4 times and Scarpone 3. Sadist and Torino went in to beat on Scarpone but the ring filled with fan favorites to fight them off in a bench clearing brawl, but not before Craig got one lash on Scarpone with the BLITZ Championship belt and used the chain across Scarpone's eyes in a camel clutch position. Egotistico Fantastico came out to sway the balance toward the good guys. Scarpone publicly thanked Ego for helping to make the save. Next month it will be Ego challenging Hardcore Craig for the BLITZ Championship!
