Post by rican on May 12, 2011 8:21:47 GMT -6
Pro Wrestling Blitz's Hostile Intent was held Saturday May 7th at the VFW Cantigny Post 367 in Joliet, IL, headlined by former WWE Superstar Scotty 2 Hotty taking on Zach Thompson, and Hardcore Craig entering his 13th month as Blitz Champion in a Title vs. Mask Match vs. Egotistico Fantastico.
The show opened with a video showing newcomer Jinx arriving in the building and being approached by Captain Jack Sparrow. Yes, THAT Captain Jack Sparrow. If it wasn't Johnny Depp, Captain Jack was a dead ringer. Sparrow said he was looking for Jinx because he possessed a what he needed to find the fountain of youth. Jinx nervously and quickly said he didn't know who Jack was talking about and hurridly walked away. Gilbert Lewis came in, very excited to meet the Pirates of the Carribean star. Gilbert told the Captain he was actually wrestling Jinx later in the night. Jack told Gilbert to look for him out there.
Match 1: "The Messiah of the Spinebuster" Machine vs. El Gato Mas Macho
As expected, El Gato didn't stand much of a chance. Machine mauled him before throwing a cup of water on him (it works in the cartoons!) and hitting the spinebuster and gettin the win in 2:21. Afterward, Machine bit El Gato's "tail" off and whipped him with it!
Match 2: Jinx vs. Gilbert Lewis
Gilbert got the better of Jinx on a criss cross, getting him to look up when he pointed to the ceiling but not falling for it when Jinx tried the same thing. Gilbert threw Jinx to the outside and hit a plancha from the top rope. Jinx took control on the way back in the ring when he pulled the 2nd rope up as Lewis was stepping through, crotching the Lamda Lamda Lamda pledge. Gilbert came back with a hip toss in the corner where Jinx landed viciously on his head during the fall. Lewis went for the Square Root, but Jinx countered with an exploder calf kick. Jinx went to the top but while the ref was checking on Lewis, Captain Jack Sparrow came out and nailed Jinx across the back with a giant wooden oar, allowing Gilbert to get the pinfall in 4:32. Afterward, Sparrow pointed his pirate pistol at Jinx, who turned to run right into a Square Root from Lewis. Captain Jack searched Jinx's person and found a key in his left knee pad. The Capt'n confirmed that's what he was looking for and celebrated with the victor.
Match 3: "Simply Amazing" Justin Dredd vs. "Latin Lover" Tony Rican in the second match of a Best of 5 Series for the No Limits Championship.
Dredd came into the match leading 1-0. He wrestled Rican to the outside in the opening moments of the match and hit a corkscrew pescado then a nasty sounding suplex on the floor. Back in the ring, Tony mounted some offense until Justin clipped the knee during an old school irish whip reversal. As Rican was getting up, Dredd hit a springboard double foot stomp to the champ's back. Dredd hit his ace crusher, but Rican had the sense of mind to roll to the outside. Dredd looked like he was going for an Asai Moonsault but the Latin Lover tripped him up and hit a bodyslam on the floor. Back in the ring, Rican went for a victory roll, got thrown off, but reversed an irish whip into an inverted DDT to tie the series at 1-1 in 7:23.
Match 4: Zach Thompson (w/Rinaldo Piven) vs. Scotty 2 Hotty
Thompson came out in a pink halter dress with other Professionals members Ashton Vuitton, Ryan Slade, Matty Starr and the debuting "Bosnian Bombshell" Sanella. Piven sent them to the back, noting that Vuitton and Sanella will be managing Professional Pleasure in the their match later in the night. Piven added that the fad of Zach Thompson wearing a dress will end tonight when Zach beats Scotty. Zach wasn't to be taken lightly as he controlled a large portion of the start, laying the boots to Scotty. The former 2 Cool member turned the tide when he held on to the ropes with all his limbs like a spider when Thompson tried to throw him to the outside. He continued to throw his younger opponent off his game by confusing him with a Macarana dance and a pair of hip tosses. Zach responded with blatant chokes in the corner, then distracted the ref so Piven could get some choking in as well. Thompson missed a 2nd rope elbow as Scotty sparked a comeback, hitting elbows, high kicks and a neckbreaker. He got a 2-count with a flying forearm, but Piven tripped him up while going for the headslam. A chase ensued on the outside until Piven rolled in the ring. Thompson hit a double ax handle, allowing Piven to escape. However, Thompson got a full nelson and invited Piven back in. Scotty ducked as Rinaldo charged, only Piven stopped himself before striking his charge. Scotty grabbed them and hit a double noggin knocker, then slammed Thompson face first into the mat. Scotty milked the W-O-R-M for all it was worth, and the crowd just ate it up. At the 12:50 mark, Scotty hit the Worm and got the victory, so Zach is still stuck wearing dresses during his matches. Afterward, Scotty had Hammy the Ref and a young fan do the Worm. Hammy looked like he'd been practicing because he had it down.
Match 5: Masaru vs. Neo Tokyo
The twin brothers didn't wait for the bell and went at it in a determined brawl that spilled to the outside when Masaru (the former Mi) superkicked Neo Tokyo (the former Yu) off the apron. Back in the ring and after taking a pounding from his larger brother, Neo managed a swinging neck breaker off the second rope. He went to the top rope but Masaru cut him off with a couple forearms before slamming him off the top and back into the ring. Masaru got a front spike slam for 2, but hit his face hard on the apron when Tokyo dumped him to the floor. As Masaru came back in, he blew a mysterious green mist into his twin's face. At 7:23, the ref called for the bell and awarded the match to Neo Tokyo via disqualification. Neo panicked about how his eyes burned as Masaru floored him with a Yakuza Kick. Masaru kneeled down over his brother, said something to him in Japanese and headed for the back.
Match 6: Professional Pleasure ("Canadian Sex Icon" Ryan Slade and "Walking Aphrodesiac" Matty Starr)(w/Ashton Vuitton and "The Bosnian Bombshell" Sanella) vs. "Waterboy" Mike Horning and a myster partner.
Brandon Blaze was introduced as Mike Horning's mystery partner, but he didn't come out. Ryan Slade took the mic and said they knew Horning would pick Blaze as his partner, so they were sure to take care of Blaze and the match would have to be a handicap match. Horning responded, saying he's got plenty of friends in the back. He went behind the curtain and seconds later he re-emerged with No Limits Champion Tony Rican. All four went at it at the bell until Rican and Horning cleared the ring with a pair of dropkicks. They kept Starr in their corner until a thumb to the eye allowed Starr to make the tag, but Slade fell to a drop toe hold and took some punishment. Professional Pleasure turned the tables on Horning, however, and kept him in their corner. The Professionals took advantage of the numbers advantage to take turns choking out the Waterboy. The Walking Aphrodesiac got a close 2-count with a northern lights suplex, but then missed a quebrada. Horning made the tag out to Rican who came in a house of fire. He went for the inverted DDT that got him a win earlier in the night, but The Canadian Sex Icon reversed that with an inverted suplex. Horning avoided the Ry-plex with a back body drop, but took Matty Starr's shining wizard for 2. Professional Pleasure went for the G-Spot on Horning, but Rican came in to break it up with stereo bulldogs. Starr and Slade retreated to the outside, but Waterboy dove over Rican and the top rope to catch his opponents on the floor. Back in the ring, the match appeared to end when Rican hit a Russian Leg Sweep on Starr and Horning hit a top rope frog slpash for 2. Tony and Mike went up opposite turnbuckles but Sanella got up on the apron to distract Horning. Ashton Vuitton seized the opportunity to shove Horning to the outside. Rican got down from the top rope to go after Starr and check on his partner, but he turned around into a Ry-plex for the Professional Pleasure win in 14:15. Afterward, Zach Thompson and Rinald Piven came out. Thompson blamed all his recent whoas on Mike Horning and how it was because of him that he has to wrestle in a dress. He sited that before he wore the dress, he beat guys like Jerry Lynn. Thompson laid out a challenge to Horning that next month, Saturday June 4th at Throwdown, it will be those two going at it in a No DQ match. Horning said he'd accept the challenge, but if he wins, Thompson wrestles in a dress permanently.
Match 7: Dysfunction vs. "The Insurance Policy" Tony Scarpone
Dysfunction Pearl Harbored Scarpone with a pipe from behind during his enterance. This was before the official bell so there was no DQ called. Dys had Tony pinned when the bell rang and almost won the quickest match ever. Dys worked over Tony's left arm (which he had worked over with the pipe) with a fugiwara armbar. Scarpone got his boot up on a charge in the corner and got a 2-count with a clothesline. The beating caught up with him though as the Milwaukee native quickly re-took control. Dys missed a double foot stomp from the 2nd rope and appeared to have jarred his knee. Scarpone hit a nice table top suplex, some elbows in the corner, and a side slam into a backbreaker when Masaru came out and attacked Tony. The ref called for the bell at 4:48. The 2 on 1 attacked continued, with Dys re-introducing the pipe to the fight. They were about to tie The Insurance Policy to the 2nd turnbuckle with wrist tape when Neo Tokyo made the save. The save, however, consisted of Neo getting blasted with Dys's pipe. Dysfunction hit a stiff looking super kick on Tokyo, then Masaru again sprayed with the mysterious green mist into his brother's eyes. Both referees tended to Neo when Dys cracked them both with his pipe.
Main Event: Egotistico Fantastico vs. Blitz Champion Hardcore Craig in a Title vs. Mask Match
Before the ring announcer could do the big match intros, Ego pescadoed onto Craig. The campion and challenger went back and forth to the outside when Ego had Craig set up for the victory lap, but when it came time for the impact, Craig back body dropped him over the guardrail. Craig choked Ego with a shirt, then back in the ring hit a tornado sidewalk slam for 2. Hardcore grounded Ego with a reverse chin lock and sat hard across Ego's back anytime it looked like the challenger was going to power up. When Craig tried a third time to keep Ego down, the Mexico City Joliet native turned over as the champ crotched himself on Ego's knees. It wasn't long before Craig regained control with a Sky High spine bomb. Hardcore set up for something on the 2nd rope but Ego showed incredible agility by hitting a frankensteiner from the ring. Favoring his back, Ego managed a series of dropkicks and elbows as the fans gave him a surge of adrenaline. Ego hit a huge powerbomb for 2, and went right into a modified Boston crab on the kick out. Ego changed that into a traditional Boston crab, instructing the champ to tap out. Instead, Craig fought to the ropes. Ego went for a charge in the corner, was greeted by Craig's boot and then a running Michinoku Driver for 2. Hardcore then got a 2 with an Air Raid Crash. Craig went for the Hardcore Hangover but Ego floated out behind him and hit a series of clotheslines, but couldn't knock the champ down. Craig hit a clothesline of his own, sending the challenger into a 360 tail spin for 2. Craig went for the Hangover again, but again Fantastico landed on his feet. Ego got a superkick, stunning the veteren champ so he could hit his Mexicution pile driver to beat Hardcore Craig and become the new Blitz Champion! The time of the fall was 17:57.
Ego was overcome with emotion and stared at the belt as the ref handed it to him. Before Ego could accept his newly won championship, Craig grabbed the belt and got a mic. He told Ego he earned the championship and he's the toughest S.O.B. he's faced in the last 13 months. Craig offered a hand, which Ego was understandably hesitant to shake. Craig added it takes a hell of a wrestler to beat him and reminded Ego that it was he who offered him the rematch from Highstakes. Ego slowly reached out to accept Hardcore's hand and it was legit. Hardcore congratulated the new champ and handed him the belt. The Professionals came out, with Ryan Slade leading the charge. He told Craig he's had a great 22 years but maybe now time's catching up with him. He said his whole group respected Craig but then he further embarrassed himself by not only losing, but shaking the winner's hand. Slade called Hardcore Craig an old man. Slade said Hardcore needed to hang up the boots, to which Craig responded with a right hand. All the Professionals put the boots to Craig. They held him so Slade could slap him. Ego came back out and made the save and the Professionals scattered like mice in a kitchen. Ego assisted Craig to his feet. They shook hands again and Craig raised Ego's hand to close the show.
The show opened with a video showing newcomer Jinx arriving in the building and being approached by Captain Jack Sparrow. Yes, THAT Captain Jack Sparrow. If it wasn't Johnny Depp, Captain Jack was a dead ringer. Sparrow said he was looking for Jinx because he possessed a what he needed to find the fountain of youth. Jinx nervously and quickly said he didn't know who Jack was talking about and hurridly walked away. Gilbert Lewis came in, very excited to meet the Pirates of the Carribean star. Gilbert told the Captain he was actually wrestling Jinx later in the night. Jack told Gilbert to look for him out there.
Match 1: "The Messiah of the Spinebuster" Machine vs. El Gato Mas Macho
As expected, El Gato didn't stand much of a chance. Machine mauled him before throwing a cup of water on him (it works in the cartoons!) and hitting the spinebuster and gettin the win in 2:21. Afterward, Machine bit El Gato's "tail" off and whipped him with it!
Match 2: Jinx vs. Gilbert Lewis
Gilbert got the better of Jinx on a criss cross, getting him to look up when he pointed to the ceiling but not falling for it when Jinx tried the same thing. Gilbert threw Jinx to the outside and hit a plancha from the top rope. Jinx took control on the way back in the ring when he pulled the 2nd rope up as Lewis was stepping through, crotching the Lamda Lamda Lamda pledge. Gilbert came back with a hip toss in the corner where Jinx landed viciously on his head during the fall. Lewis went for the Square Root, but Jinx countered with an exploder calf kick. Jinx went to the top but while the ref was checking on Lewis, Captain Jack Sparrow came out and nailed Jinx across the back with a giant wooden oar, allowing Gilbert to get the pinfall in 4:32. Afterward, Sparrow pointed his pirate pistol at Jinx, who turned to run right into a Square Root from Lewis. Captain Jack searched Jinx's person and found a key in his left knee pad. The Capt'n confirmed that's what he was looking for and celebrated with the victor.
Match 3: "Simply Amazing" Justin Dredd vs. "Latin Lover" Tony Rican in the second match of a Best of 5 Series for the No Limits Championship.
Dredd came into the match leading 1-0. He wrestled Rican to the outside in the opening moments of the match and hit a corkscrew pescado then a nasty sounding suplex on the floor. Back in the ring, Tony mounted some offense until Justin clipped the knee during an old school irish whip reversal. As Rican was getting up, Dredd hit a springboard double foot stomp to the champ's back. Dredd hit his ace crusher, but Rican had the sense of mind to roll to the outside. Dredd looked like he was going for an Asai Moonsault but the Latin Lover tripped him up and hit a bodyslam on the floor. Back in the ring, Rican went for a victory roll, got thrown off, but reversed an irish whip into an inverted DDT to tie the series at 1-1 in 7:23.
Match 4: Zach Thompson (w/Rinaldo Piven) vs. Scotty 2 Hotty
Thompson came out in a pink halter dress with other Professionals members Ashton Vuitton, Ryan Slade, Matty Starr and the debuting "Bosnian Bombshell" Sanella. Piven sent them to the back, noting that Vuitton and Sanella will be managing Professional Pleasure in the their match later in the night. Piven added that the fad of Zach Thompson wearing a dress will end tonight when Zach beats Scotty. Zach wasn't to be taken lightly as he controlled a large portion of the start, laying the boots to Scotty. The former 2 Cool member turned the tide when he held on to the ropes with all his limbs like a spider when Thompson tried to throw him to the outside. He continued to throw his younger opponent off his game by confusing him with a Macarana dance and a pair of hip tosses. Zach responded with blatant chokes in the corner, then distracted the ref so Piven could get some choking in as well. Thompson missed a 2nd rope elbow as Scotty sparked a comeback, hitting elbows, high kicks and a neckbreaker. He got a 2-count with a flying forearm, but Piven tripped him up while going for the headslam. A chase ensued on the outside until Piven rolled in the ring. Thompson hit a double ax handle, allowing Piven to escape. However, Thompson got a full nelson and invited Piven back in. Scotty ducked as Rinaldo charged, only Piven stopped himself before striking his charge. Scotty grabbed them and hit a double noggin knocker, then slammed Thompson face first into the mat. Scotty milked the W-O-R-M for all it was worth, and the crowd just ate it up. At the 12:50 mark, Scotty hit the Worm and got the victory, so Zach is still stuck wearing dresses during his matches. Afterward, Scotty had Hammy the Ref and a young fan do the Worm. Hammy looked like he'd been practicing because he had it down.
Match 5: Masaru vs. Neo Tokyo
The twin brothers didn't wait for the bell and went at it in a determined brawl that spilled to the outside when Masaru (the former Mi) superkicked Neo Tokyo (the former Yu) off the apron. Back in the ring and after taking a pounding from his larger brother, Neo managed a swinging neck breaker off the second rope. He went to the top rope but Masaru cut him off with a couple forearms before slamming him off the top and back into the ring. Masaru got a front spike slam for 2, but hit his face hard on the apron when Tokyo dumped him to the floor. As Masaru came back in, he blew a mysterious green mist into his twin's face. At 7:23, the ref called for the bell and awarded the match to Neo Tokyo via disqualification. Neo panicked about how his eyes burned as Masaru floored him with a Yakuza Kick. Masaru kneeled down over his brother, said something to him in Japanese and headed for the back.
Match 6: Professional Pleasure ("Canadian Sex Icon" Ryan Slade and "Walking Aphrodesiac" Matty Starr)(w/Ashton Vuitton and "The Bosnian Bombshell" Sanella) vs. "Waterboy" Mike Horning and a myster partner.
Brandon Blaze was introduced as Mike Horning's mystery partner, but he didn't come out. Ryan Slade took the mic and said they knew Horning would pick Blaze as his partner, so they were sure to take care of Blaze and the match would have to be a handicap match. Horning responded, saying he's got plenty of friends in the back. He went behind the curtain and seconds later he re-emerged with No Limits Champion Tony Rican. All four went at it at the bell until Rican and Horning cleared the ring with a pair of dropkicks. They kept Starr in their corner until a thumb to the eye allowed Starr to make the tag, but Slade fell to a drop toe hold and took some punishment. Professional Pleasure turned the tables on Horning, however, and kept him in their corner. The Professionals took advantage of the numbers advantage to take turns choking out the Waterboy. The Walking Aphrodesiac got a close 2-count with a northern lights suplex, but then missed a quebrada. Horning made the tag out to Rican who came in a house of fire. He went for the inverted DDT that got him a win earlier in the night, but The Canadian Sex Icon reversed that with an inverted suplex. Horning avoided the Ry-plex with a back body drop, but took Matty Starr's shining wizard for 2. Professional Pleasure went for the G-Spot on Horning, but Rican came in to break it up with stereo bulldogs. Starr and Slade retreated to the outside, but Waterboy dove over Rican and the top rope to catch his opponents on the floor. Back in the ring, the match appeared to end when Rican hit a Russian Leg Sweep on Starr and Horning hit a top rope frog slpash for 2. Tony and Mike went up opposite turnbuckles but Sanella got up on the apron to distract Horning. Ashton Vuitton seized the opportunity to shove Horning to the outside. Rican got down from the top rope to go after Starr and check on his partner, but he turned around into a Ry-plex for the Professional Pleasure win in 14:15. Afterward, Zach Thompson and Rinald Piven came out. Thompson blamed all his recent whoas on Mike Horning and how it was because of him that he has to wrestle in a dress. He sited that before he wore the dress, he beat guys like Jerry Lynn. Thompson laid out a challenge to Horning that next month, Saturday June 4th at Throwdown, it will be those two going at it in a No DQ match. Horning said he'd accept the challenge, but if he wins, Thompson wrestles in a dress permanently.
Match 7: Dysfunction vs. "The Insurance Policy" Tony Scarpone
Dysfunction Pearl Harbored Scarpone with a pipe from behind during his enterance. This was before the official bell so there was no DQ called. Dys had Tony pinned when the bell rang and almost won the quickest match ever. Dys worked over Tony's left arm (which he had worked over with the pipe) with a fugiwara armbar. Scarpone got his boot up on a charge in the corner and got a 2-count with a clothesline. The beating caught up with him though as the Milwaukee native quickly re-took control. Dys missed a double foot stomp from the 2nd rope and appeared to have jarred his knee. Scarpone hit a nice table top suplex, some elbows in the corner, and a side slam into a backbreaker when Masaru came out and attacked Tony. The ref called for the bell at 4:48. The 2 on 1 attacked continued, with Dys re-introducing the pipe to the fight. They were about to tie The Insurance Policy to the 2nd turnbuckle with wrist tape when Neo Tokyo made the save. The save, however, consisted of Neo getting blasted with Dys's pipe. Dysfunction hit a stiff looking super kick on Tokyo, then Masaru again sprayed with the mysterious green mist into his brother's eyes. Both referees tended to Neo when Dys cracked them both with his pipe.
Main Event: Egotistico Fantastico vs. Blitz Champion Hardcore Craig in a Title vs. Mask Match
Before the ring announcer could do the big match intros, Ego pescadoed onto Craig. The campion and challenger went back and forth to the outside when Ego had Craig set up for the victory lap, but when it came time for the impact, Craig back body dropped him over the guardrail. Craig choked Ego with a shirt, then back in the ring hit a tornado sidewalk slam for 2. Hardcore grounded Ego with a reverse chin lock and sat hard across Ego's back anytime it looked like the challenger was going to power up. When Craig tried a third time to keep Ego down, the Mexico City Joliet native turned over as the champ crotched himself on Ego's knees. It wasn't long before Craig regained control with a Sky High spine bomb. Hardcore set up for something on the 2nd rope but Ego showed incredible agility by hitting a frankensteiner from the ring. Favoring his back, Ego managed a series of dropkicks and elbows as the fans gave him a surge of adrenaline. Ego hit a huge powerbomb for 2, and went right into a modified Boston crab on the kick out. Ego changed that into a traditional Boston crab, instructing the champ to tap out. Instead, Craig fought to the ropes. Ego went for a charge in the corner, was greeted by Craig's boot and then a running Michinoku Driver for 2. Hardcore then got a 2 with an Air Raid Crash. Craig went for the Hardcore Hangover but Ego floated out behind him and hit a series of clotheslines, but couldn't knock the champ down. Craig hit a clothesline of his own, sending the challenger into a 360 tail spin for 2. Craig went for the Hangover again, but again Fantastico landed on his feet. Ego got a superkick, stunning the veteren champ so he could hit his Mexicution pile driver to beat Hardcore Craig and become the new Blitz Champion! The time of the fall was 17:57.
Ego was overcome with emotion and stared at the belt as the ref handed it to him. Before Ego could accept his newly won championship, Craig grabbed the belt and got a mic. He told Ego he earned the championship and he's the toughest S.O.B. he's faced in the last 13 months. Craig offered a hand, which Ego was understandably hesitant to shake. Craig added it takes a hell of a wrestler to beat him and reminded Ego that it was he who offered him the rematch from Highstakes. Ego slowly reached out to accept Hardcore's hand and it was legit. Hardcore congratulated the new champ and handed him the belt. The Professionals came out, with Ryan Slade leading the charge. He told Craig he's had a great 22 years but maybe now time's catching up with him. He said his whole group respected Craig but then he further embarrassed himself by not only losing, but shaking the winner's hand. Slade called Hardcore Craig an old man. Slade said Hardcore needed to hang up the boots, to which Craig responded with a right hand. All the Professionals put the boots to Craig. They held him so Slade could slap him. Ego came back out and made the save and the Professionals scattered like mice in a kitchen. Ego assisted Craig to his feet. They shook hands again and Craig raised Ego's hand to close the show.
