Full BLITZ Ring Wars III results (11/5/11)

The Elite's manager - Rinaldo Piven. ;D

Ok Tobi you can change the title to full results Jimmy D just e-mailed it =)

Pro Wrestling Blitz's Ring Wars III was held Saturday November 5th, 2011 at the VFW Cantigny Post 367 in Joliet, IL, featuring not one, but two Ring Wars Elimination matches and the Blitz debut of International Superstar Rikishi.

Match 1: AJ Smooth vs. "Latin Lover" Tony Rican
Rican took control early, hitting move after move and getting 2-count after 2-count, including a Matrix-like backflipping dropkick out of the corner followed by a running head slam. Smooth grabbed a Russian leg sweep to throw Rican back into a corner. He propped the Latin Lover on the top turnbuckle, but Rican fought him off and hit a top rope dropkick. Rican went for his inverted DDT, but Smooth countered with a Codebreaker after a series of reversals. Smooth lifted Rican into a fireman's carry, but Tony floated behind him and hit his inverted DDT for the pin in 9:18.

Match 2: Barry Ryte vs. The White Russian
Barry Ryte made his debut telling Joliet that he is a cancer survivor so he's a warrior and can do anything and beat anyone. The monsterous White Russian came out and Ryte said he would squash this mosquito. Ryte attacked The White Russian at the bell but soon realized he was a little more outmatched than he had previously thought. While the ref warned the Russian about keeping Ryte in the corner, Ryte wrapped the Russian's chain around the top turnbuckle. When the White Russian approached, Barry leveraged him headfirst into the chain. Russian battled up from a headlock and tossed Ryte to the floor and into the guardrail. After Ryte was tossed back into the ring, he kicked the second rope, crotching the Russian as he was getting back in for a 2-count. The White Russian reversed an Irish whip and hit a huge lariat, but before the ref counted 3 he noticed the chain wrapped around the top turnbuckle. The Russian thought he had won, but Ryte rolled him up in a school boy with a handful of tights to get the win in 7:57. Afterward, The White Russian took the mic and said he was sick of Americans cheating to beat him. He now regrets coming to the United States and will destroy all American opponents.

Match 3: Team Captain Dysfunction and "The Messiah of the Spinebuster" Machine (w/Ratt J. Flywheel) vs. Team Captain "Insurance Policy" Tony Scarpone, "Beer City Bruiser" Brandon Blaze, and "The Urban American Dream" Willie Da Bomb Richardson in a Ring Wars Elimination Match.
Tony's team was one step ahead of Dysfunction's until Dys was able to hit a standing moonsault on Blaze. The Beer City Bruiser's attempted to counter Machine and Dys's offense were thwarted until he was able to counter a back body drop with a DDT on Machine and tag out to Scarpone. The Insurance Policy was a house on fire until missing a charging elbow in the corner. Tony battled up from Machine's seated surfboard stretch, hit a side slam, and tagged out to Willie Da Bomb. The crowd called for the Pounce but Ratt J. Flywheel tripped him up and Richardson went on pursuit. Machine and Willie went back and forth on the floor and the fight was moving to the back so the referee had no choice but to count them out, eliminating both men. Blaze jumped the chance to work over Dysfunction until missing a charge in the corner and suffering a superkick for 2. Blaze looked to regain control with a sunset flip but Dys stopped that with his double foot stomp. The ref caught Dys choking Blaze with tape while putting his feet on the rope. Blaze grabbed Dys in an exploder suplex for 2 then went for a Death Valley Bomb, but Dys went behind him and rolled him up for the pin to eliminate the Beer City Bruiser. Scarpone caught Dysfunction in a swinging sidewalk slam across the knee to eliminate the Milwaukee native. Scarpone threw up his hands in victory when Egotistico Fantastico came out, saying he was the 3rd member of Dys's team. Scarpone went for a vertical leapfrog to regain control but got caught in a fireman's driver for 2. Ego taunted Tony on the mic and nailed him with two superkicks for 2. Scarpone got a boot up in the corner and hit a hip toss over his knee. Scarpone went for his powerbomb, but Ego landed on his feet and hit a second Death Valley Driver to get the pin and win the match for his team in 27:36. Afterward, he said Egotistico Fantastico is dead and he's to be known as Robert Anthony.

Just before intermission, Tony Scarpone said Tony Rican will be given a huge athletic challenge on Friday December 2nd at The King of Joliet as he'll be stepping into the ring with Chavo Guerrero!

After Intermission, Blitz No Limits Champion "Simply Amazing" Justin Dredd came out to explain his actions over the last couple months, which included beating down Brandon Blaze with a pipe. He said someone's been in his ear and has been making sense. He came to realize the crowd turned their back on him and he should do what it takes to keep the No Limits Championship. He introduced his savior as Steve Stone. Stone called Blaze a degenerate who doesn't care about wrestling, only drinking beer. Stone said there are more Blitz wrestlers who can be saved, specifically Gilbert Lewis because the crowd laughs at him, not with him. He called out Gilbert and offered him something he couldn't get on his own, a No Limits Championship Match. Lewis accepted the opportunity, leading to...

Match 4: Gilbert Lewis vs. "Simply Amazing" Justin Dredd (w/Steve Stone) for the Blitz No Limits Championship
The champ sneak attacked the challenger as soon as the ref got in the ring. Lewis came back with a swinging neck breaker, causing Dredd to retreat to the outside and get advise from Stone. Gilbert went after him, but got caught by Stone with a clothesline on the floor. Stone got a mic and taunted Lewis as the Simply Amazing one took control, hitting a backstabber after ducking a clothesline attempt. Dredd missed a springboard elbow drop, and Gilbert set up for the Square Root when Stone yelled at him on the mic, saying he's listening to the fans cheer for him instead of focusing on finishing the match. Dredd took advantage and hit a jumping ace crusher. Stone said to get the pipe instead of getting the pin. Brandon Blaze came out with a chair to break it up and got ahold of Steve Stone when Gilbert Lewis took the chair and cracked Blaze across the back! The match was ruled a No Contest at 6:21 as Stone shook hands with Lewis, who had apparently just been "saved". On the way out, Stone said there was more to come and guaranteed it.

Match 5: Gringo Loco vs. Heros Dios Del Amore
Heros got control after a fast paced lucha exchange, but got pulled face first to the apron when apparently going for an Asai moonsault. Gringo followed this by throwing Heros into the steel steps, which thundered throughout the building. Gringo Loco kept Heros grounded with various submissions, then powerbombed Heros face first when Heros went for a headscissors. Gringo continued to shoot down Heros's counter attempts until the Dios Del Amore went right at him with a flying headscissors followed by a tope con hilo to the outside. Back in the ring, Heros leapt off the top rope and got a hurricane rana, then a la magistrol for 2. After both successfully dodged a series of each other's strikes, Gringo got the ref to look away at a fan as he kicked Heros low and got the pin in 10:40. Afterward, Gringo Loco explained that he and Heros had a match in Mexico recently that Gringo won and Heros had to give up his mask. Loco wasn't happy that Heros wrestled tonight with his mask on, so the next time they go one on one, Gringo's putting Heros in the hospital.

Match 6 (Main Event): The Elite (Team Captain and Blitz Heavyweight Champion "Simply Ravishing" Ryan Slade, Ashton Vuitton, and "Walking Aphrodesiac" Matty Starr (w/Rinaldo Piven)) vs. Team Captain Rikishi, Hardcore Craig, and Mike Horning in a Ring Wars Elimination Match.
Before the match, Piven, after running down Joliet, let everyone know that while Al Snow will be in Joliet Friday December 2nd, he won't be taking on any of The Elite because they're going to win the Ring Wars match. Rikishi, who looked more like his Samoan Swat Team days as opposed to his 2000-era look, took the mic, praised Joliet and Blitz, then promised someone's getting a Stinkface tonight. Slade and Rikishi had quite the standoff, then after a brief exchange of blows, the champ went for a bodyslam, hurting his back in the process and tagged out to Ashton. Vuitton tried a sunset flip, but got out of Dodge before Big 'Kish could drop on him. The Elite wisely triple teamed the International Superstar any chance they could get while the ref's back was turned. 'Kish tagged out to Mike Horning, who went for a dropkick on Starr but Starr held onto the ropes. The Elite cut off the ring and kept Horning in their corner. The Joliet native blocked Vuitton's frankensteiner attempt and hit a powerslam for 2. Piven got on the apron, distracting the ref, as Slade hit Horning with the Canadian flag as he was hitting the ropes. Vuitton hit a Northern Lights Suplex to get the pin and eliminate Horning. Craig came in but the instant he got remotely close to Elite's corner they were ready with a triple team. Hardcore got a break with a 2-handed choke slam on Vuitton. Ashton was able to tag out to Matty Starr but Craig wasn't able to get the tag to Rikishi. The Elite all came in as the ref lost control, but that didn't stop Craig from battling back, getting a running Michinoku Driver on Slade and a spear on Vuitton. After the spear, Matty snuck up behind Craig with a school boy with a handful of tights and feet on the ropes for leverage to eliminate the veteren. Starr celebrated and boasted to Craig about eliminating him, which Hardcore responded with a smile and wave goodbye. This curious action made sense because Rikishi had positioned himself so when Starr turned around, he caught him flush with a superkick for the critical elimination. 'Kish tossed both Slade and Vuitton into the corner and "backed that ass up" on a running charge, then tossed Vuitton to the outside. Ashton went to the Sunset Flip well again, slingshotting himself from the apron over Big 'Kish, but this time was caught with all of Rikishi's weight on a butt splash for the elimination. The Simply Ravishing one was in position sitting in the corner, but hit a low blow when Rikishi went for the Stickface while Piven had the ref's attention. Hammy the Ref caught Slade putting his feet on the ropes on a pin, so the champ went for his Ry-plex Mach 2 finisher. Slade couldn't get him up, so Piven came charging at Rikishi with the Blitz Heavyweight title belt. Piven received a throat thrust for his efforts, and when the ref was checking on Rinaldo, Big 'Kish nailed Slade with the belt. Rikishi sat down on the champ to get the elimination at the 18:52 mark, winning the match for his team and making it so Al Snow gets another shot at The Elite at The King of Joliet, Friday December 2nd. Rikishi then noticed Rinaldo Piven sat down in the corner and Joliet called for a Stinkface. 'Kish dropped his drawers and Piven got 353lbs of sweaty Samoan bare ass on the face to close the show.

Such a brilliant analysis

Whoa, whoa, whoa...someone has the balls to call themselves "Simply Ravishing"? He had better be in Rick Rude shape or super fat and it's a tongue-in-cheek. Otherwise that guy should be ashamed of himself for his lack of creativity. Can someone fill me in here?